Now what do I do?

Nick came to me last night, alone.

He hesitantly says, "Ummm, Mom? I need to talk to you." He sits down, and sighs. I KNEW this was going to be B-I-G! "My girlfriends parents treat her like shit." Now, I haven't talked to her parents since they were in pre-school, but they seemed like pretty good people.

"They do?"

"Yes, they treat her like complete, and total shit! It's so bad, she brought a B home from school and is punished. She went shopping with her Mom, and her Mom flipped out in the store 'in front of everyone' and made her put everything back."

"Well, you have to know, you are only hearing one side of the story Nick."

"Mom, her mother says, 'I'm not sure I like that last thing,' and she said, 'I thought it looked fine' and her mom flipped! Mom, it's so bad she's cutting herself!" My heart immediately sank, followed by the maternal instinct of wanting her to live with us. "She says its the only way she can feel better."

"She needs to talk to someone, Nick. A guidance counselor or a grandparent - someone."

"She's been in counseling with her parents for a while, but its not helping. She said her parents don't do anything that the counselor tells them to."

"Does she get any time alone with the counselor? She needs alone time. She needs to tell him she's doing this, if he doesn't already know."

"I asked her if she did drugs or anything. She said she used to smoke cigarettes but quit."

To lighten the situation, I use comedy, like I usually do, and said, "Tell her to stop cutting and start smoking again." He chuckles, and I say, "What is with your choice of girlfriends, Nick?"

He laughs and said, "I know, but the other one was insane, this one is really, really nice and just needs help."

"Tell her she needs to find another outlet to relieve her stress. Tell her write down her feelings, or sing, or draw. Find soothing music....SOMETHING! She has to find another way to release her anger, because cutting herself is only hurting herself, and its not helping the situation. Tell her to focus on the future. She has 2 more years, and with her grades, she'll get into an amazing college. Tell her to focus on the future. Have her come here; tell her she can come as often as she wants - if she needs a place to escape, we can be that place. She can't spend the night like your bff, but she can spend every weekend here. I know she's extremely shy (due to low self esteem), so she needs time to get to know us. If she starts to trust us, hopefully she'll open up and talk to us and that could help her."

"She didn't want me to tell you, but I told her if I didn't talk to you, I'd be totally stressed out, so she knows I talked to you."

I can not tell you how blessed I feel to have my teenage son come to me. To know he trusts me enough to talk to me about this. When he was little we were at each others throats, it makes me feel sooo good to know he trusts me. Most teenagers would NEVER go to their parents about things; I didn't, and know his 2 bff's don't - I'm totally, and completely blessed to have that relationship with him.

When we woke up this morning, I had to ask him a question. I knew it was a bad question, but I wanted to know how he felt.

"So, after sleeping on it, what are you going to do with her?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to stay with her?"

"Mom, she's not like the other one who was psycho - she's really nice and I'm standing by her."

I am a little concerned, but so proud at the same time.

So, let me hear any advice you have. I don't know his girlfriend, at all, but Nick cares about her, so that means I care about her too. Advice? Suggestions?