I feel like I've used that title countless times, but sometimes it's well deserved.
I am really close with a member of my family. I consider them one of my best friends and know I can always count on them. When I am hurting, I know they are too; and when they are hurting, they KNOW I am hurting right along with them as well.
I understand in any type of relationship there are going to be differences of opinions and disagreements, but what do you do when the difference of opinions seem to be outweighing the things you agree on anymore.
This person, as much as I love them, can be very...firm in their beliefs. It's their way, and no matter what you say, they are not going to waiver and not only that, at times they expect ME to waiver to their beliefs - regardless to what they are, whether it be religion, politics, food,...it doesn't matter. They know they are correct and that's just the way it is, and anyone who doesn't live they way they do, or believe in what they do, are nothing more than idiots, blinded by today's society.
So, I knew I had limits with this person. I was clearly aware NOT to bring up religion or politics with this person. I knew if I missed the gym for a week straight, not to mention it because I'd hear how terrible it is, especially since my cholestrol numbers are elevated and I'm trying NOT to get on medication for it. I knew not to talk about my cooking habits because not cooking organically, or from scratch is UNHEARD of and totally unacceptable - I'm poisoning my children and family with all that premade crap I buy!!! (by now I know some of you know exactly who I'm talking about - but that's between you and me, okay? ;) )
So, I called this person on the phone yesterday to catch up and when they asked about the kids I told them about Nicks girlfriends...cutting dilema. Shock, was their first reaction.
"What!? Why?"
When I went on to explain how her parents were overly strict and even punished her for bringing home a B, his reaction was nothing less than appalling.
"So? She SHOULD get punished for bringing home a B. There is no reason why she can't bring home straight A's."
After my mouth hit the floor, I copped my defensive attitude. "Yeah, okay. Anyway....." as I quickly changed the subject.
So, I'm left in this situation....what the hell do I have left to talk about with this person? *sigh*
The perpetual dilema
14 years ago
umm,what? Did he bring home straight A's? Wait. Let's not go there, b/c I suddenly I'm thinking all sorts of mean things I can bring up about not being perfect on his part. I hear you on this, I so do. I talk about stupid, stupid, mundane things. "oh, the weather is nice." "are those new shoes?" And don't expect to be supported/encouraged in return. AT ALL. No expectations. It sucks. I slip and talk about something I'm struggling w/ relating to Violet and holy hell. I mention the organic thing? OMG. The scorn. The judgement that I WOULD eat organic, think that organic might be better. But I should have known. So, mundane. How are the kids? "Good." END. If they ask a question, I answer it as simply as possible. (which you know is SO farking hard for me!!) "What is Violet doing in school?" "Oh, you know. She likes to read." Then I ask about them and hope they talk. But I try really really hard to not talk about meaningful things. B/c then all the joy gets sucked out of me, or, they sucker punch me. That's all I've got. "Hey, how was that new whole food locally grown all organic barter only bring your own meat cleaver to butcher your cow and if you want butter here is the churn market you went to?" Then let him talk. He says, "How are the kids?" you say "Great! Loving school!" And then ask about the next market. :)
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