...and suddenly I'm 5 again

I am a 42 year old woman, a wife and a mother of two boys ages 17 and 11. I own a house, and have the same full time job (for 12 years now). I have a dog, a cat and admittedly so, several dust bunnies. I consider myself kind, compassionate and understanding. I'm blessed to have a wonderful husband who loves me unconditionally and to have a teenage son and a pre-teen that both look forward to spending time with me. I think I've done okay in my life and on a whole I think I'm a decent person. I thrive to live by the golden rule and apply it in all aspects of my life (both professionally and personally). Yes, I have faults and lots of them; but to name just a few: I'm stubborn, shy, and don't trust people very easily. But when I feel I can trust you, and I open my heart to someone, they have my heart completely - nothing held back and I will drop everything to help them if they need me to. All in all, I am a well rounded individual, who has their head screwed on right and who tries to live in a christian way.

So, explain to me how my father can confront me about something (out of the blue) and suddenly I feel like a 5 year old child again? During this "confrontation" I stood there, looking at him, praying for him to finish, just so I could run away and cry. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

I am an adult and should have gave it right back to him, but instead he made me feel like I was a horrible daughter (not once, but twice in this conversation) when I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I am anything BUT that. But, there I was, standing in my office parking lot, ready to go home for the day, when I swear I felt myself shrink, my clothes hang on me, and I was transformed back to my childhood days again.

On the rare occasion that the unfair guilt trip disappears for a moment, I find myself angry - angry that I didn't stand up for myself, or better yet...just say, "I'm not listening to this crap - with the recent storms, flooding, friendships finalized, inlaw issues, and today's 6 month mammogram recheck - I DONT NEED THIS!"

Why didn't I just be the adult that HE raised me to be and stand up for myself, and leave with my head held high? Why?